Skip to main content

Ten Signs You're Getting Old

It's going to happen to all of us at some point if we live long enough. No, I'm not talking about winning the lottery. I'm talking about aging - you know, getting old! It's unavoidable, no matter what the infomercials and plastic surgeons would have you to believe. As a matter of fact it's happening to all of us RIGHT NOW. Don't panic, you may not be at the OLD and DECREPIT stage just yet. But here are few signs that you are heading in that direction:

TEN SIGNS YOU ARE GETTING OLD
  1. When the bagger at the supermarket asks "Would you like help out with your groceries" you get offended and flatly refuse. Really, what he's trying to say is "You look old and frail and carrying those 2 bags of groceries just might do you in."
  2. You and your family are watching television and the "I've fallen and I can't get up" commercial comes on. While the kids are laughing, you secretly write down the number so YOU can order one!
  3. When teenagers refer to you as "mam" you don't hear proper southern manners. You hear "OLD LADY".
  4. You couldn't wait to turn 21 - now you'd give almost anything to go back.
  5. You notice your shoes are untied and you SERIOUSLY consider sitting down to tie them. Course, it could just mean you're fat. GREAT!, Now you're old AND Fat!
  6. You never get carded anymore - unless it's to see if you qualify for the SENIOR CITIZEN'S DISCOUNT!!!
  7. You realize that you and gravity are no longer friends. Actually, thanks to all the bits that aren't where you'd like them to be, you realize that you HATE gravity!
  8. You began to dread your optometrist appointments for fear you will hear the word BIFOCALS!
  9. The phrase "back in the day" now applies to you.
  10. You remember what Michael looked like before Thriller!
Just in case you're completely saddened at the thought of Father Time creeping up on you, remember, old people have fun too!

I'm just saying.
Peace,
~Mackgurl


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Golden Haze

There I was...minding my own business (no really, I was - this time) thought I'd do some note taking, some observing (okay maybe not completely minding my own business), get some ideas for some posts...and the craziest thing happened. I started noticing a few people walk by my table, look at me - stare at me really, some snickered, some outright laughed. I was thinking sheesh, what's up? No one said anything - just looked at me, looked down at my table, looked at me, laughed or chuckled and walked away...that was until this guy walked over and sat down next to me. Immediately, my internal alert system went into overdrive!!! STRANGER DANGER!!! Then he says the craziest thing to me... Stranger: Hey, yeah so are you here regularly?  (ALARM IS GETTING LOUDER)  Me: Excuse me? Stranger: Nah, I'm just saying if you're here like on the reg, and you're bold enough to advertise the merch I'm straight going to switch my loyalty to you.  Me: DAFUQ!  (INTER...
Post a Comment
Read more

Oscar Chronicles - All By Myself

  Hola, mis amigos. I'm not going to ask if you missed me because - well, I already know you did. But more than that, I'm not going to ask because I'm sad, angry and hungry. Okay, perhaps I'm always interested in some snacks...Anyway, your Oscar is sad. Why? Is because a couple of weeks ago mi persona favorito decided to remodel his room. No really! He took all of the things out of the room - even my bed! At first I was angry thinking that he was kicking me out! He even took down his posters and emptied his closet! But then I started seeing him bringing some stuff back. Several pairs of his zapatos, some shirts and chaquetas. Some things he even put in the basura! Things that were too small or too old - you know how they do, right? So yes,  A MAJOR CLEANING. His room was like SUPER CLEAN.  He and his Papa also bought in new stuff. New zapatos, shirts, pants. The new stuff he put into a new bag. Nice! Good storage. It even has wheels!! So he can move it around a lot easi...
Post a Comment
Read more

Work It

I found an old photo of me from many moons ago. I'm talking acid washed jeans, big glasses, big hair - the whole 9 yards. It's just a casual shot - me and a friend chilling on the couch (uh, no I don't plan to post it LOL) - but it got me thinking about yester-year or days of old (sheesh, that sounds kinda knightly)...You know, those days when your biggest worries included "are the quarter pounder combos on sale this week? Is HE going to ask me out? For Prom??" (HE didn't but I went to prom anyway and had a BLAST!) This is also about the time I got my first taste of adulthood - A JOB! A real one! Like actually doing things for someone other than my parents and grandparents in order to maintain my allowance (yes, I was one of those kids). Employee ID, Clock-In/Out, an actual check - shoot couldn't tell me nothing. I was a working WOMAN after all (okay so a working TEEN but still, LOL)  Guess where I worked? No, go ahead I'll wait... Time's u...
Post a Comment
Read more