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Ten Signs You're Getting Old

It's going to happen to all of us at some point if we live long enough. No, I'm not talking about winning the lottery. I'm talking about aging - you know, getting old! It's unavoidable, no matter what the infomercials and plastic surgeons would have you to believe. As a matter of fact it's happening to all of us RIGHT NOW. Don't panic, you may not be at the OLD and DECREPIT stage just yet. But here are few signs that you are heading in that direction:

TEN SIGNS YOU ARE GETTING OLD
  1. When the bagger at the supermarket asks "Would you like help out with your groceries" you get offended and flatly refuse. Really, what he's trying to say is "You look old and frail and carrying those 2 bags of groceries just might do you in."
  2. You and your family are watching television and the "I've fallen and I can't get up" commercial comes on. While the kids are laughing, you secretly write down the number so YOU can order one!
  3. When teenagers refer to you as "mam" you don't hear proper southern manners. You hear "OLD LADY".
  4. You couldn't wait to turn 21 - now you'd give almost anything to go back.
  5. You notice your shoes are untied and you SERIOUSLY consider sitting down to tie them. Course, it could just mean you're fat. GREAT!, Now you're old AND Fat!
  6. You never get carded anymore - unless it's to see if you qualify for the SENIOR CITIZEN'S DISCOUNT!!!
  7. You realize that you and gravity are no longer friends. Actually, thanks to all the bits that aren't where you'd like them to be, you realize that you HATE gravity!
  8. You began to dread your optometrist appointments for fear you will hear the word BIFOCALS!
  9. The phrase "back in the day" now applies to you.
  10. You remember what Michael looked like before Thriller!
Just in case you're completely saddened at the thought of Father Time creeping up on you, remember, old people have fun too!

I'm just saying.
Peace,
~Mackgurl


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