Skip to main content

Joke of the Day

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, " Is my time up?"
God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.'"

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, brow lift, lip enhancement, boob job, lipo-suction, and a tummy tuck.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital but while crossing the street on her way home, she was hit and killed by a car.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, '"I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me out of the path of the car?"

God replied,  "GIRRRL...I didn't even recognize you!" 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Puzzle

Sometimes we don't know what we want. Heck, most of the time we barely know what it is we need. So, isn't it amazing then that when we find it, stumble across it or when it finds us, it is basically immediately clear that it is in fact what was needed, what was wanted? Like, say you're putting together a puzzle. Perhaps it's one with oh let's say a thousand pieces (whew that's ALOT)                                                                                                                                                    http://clipart-library.com/jigsaw-puzzle.html You start with the edges putting them together and b...
1 comment
Read more

Look before you eat...

Hello folks! This is NOT the Super Bowl party snack post. (check back tomorrow for that one). But it is related to food (smile) This post is a cautionary tale about food - specifically MAKE SURE YOU CHECK YOUR FOOD BEFORE YOU EAT IT! A friend and coworker of mine visited an establishment who was offering FREE bagels today. How wonderful! I really enjoy bagels from this particular restaurant. And who doesn't like. FREE, right?Well, imagine her surprise when she reached into her a bag for delightful wheel of bready goodness and finds a little something extra: The heck is THAT??!?!?!! What do you think this something extra is? (no, I'm not talking about the raisin) Look closely at the top of the bagel. Do you see those tawny colored rope-y looking things? I was hoping it was a piece of the paper bag the company put her FREE bagels in. But honestly, she I both had the same thought - "It looks like strands of WEAVE/BRAID EXTENSIONS!!!" GASP! My buddy was not ...
2 comments
Read more

Deal Me In

A while back, I posted about being held hostage. See, that article was about...well I don't want to go into too much detail in case you haven't had a chance to read it yet (hint hint). Suffice it to say it was about being in a situation you'd rather not be in. Maybe you've been super fortunate not to have found yourself in a situation like that...until now. And who is your hostage taker? Say hello to COVID-19...UGH!  This virus has spread so rapidly and doesn't discriminate - everyone is a potential victim or carrier/transmitter. The best way to slow down what has become a pandemic is to limit exposure. To what? Well basically PEOPLE! Schools are closed, most businesses are closed - unless they are essential (hospitals, supermarkets, pharmacies...) restaurants are open but only for takeout or delivery. No movie theater, no malls, no parties. WE are basically on restriction! House arrest without the ankle monitors... If you're married/partnered - ok so maybe ...
1 comment
Read more