Mackgurl's Musings

There are so many people (economists…perhaps your mother?) who are quick to point out that you need a good-paying job.  Why? Well, according to them you will encounter a mountain of problems if you are only pulling in say $7 bucks/hour!!!  Credit: Free photos from acobox.com  And to be honest, they (yes, even dear old mom) are right. But, there are certain problems that you will never have to face. Decisions that plague those with 6-figure salaries - that you, my dear underpaid worker, will never have to make. Questions that you, my wage-strapped chum, will never have to answer… Ferrari  Credit: Free images from acobox.com   or  Lamborghini?   Credit: Free images from acobox.com                                                                Whole Foods  or                                               Trader Joe's?                      Tahiti                                           or                                 Hawaii?           First-Class Seating Credit: Free ph

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Okay, I absolutely adore Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. Seriously though...who doesn't? Ok so the Dunkin Dougnut folks probably not so much. But to them I say, "where's your HOT DOUGHNUTS NOW" sign? That little bit of illumination has made more than one person bust a u-E (that's u-turn for those of you who aren't in the know, lol) in the middle of the street. But after ordering my most recent box (hey, it was to support the schools and you know I'm about supporting education SMILE) - I noticed that the FUND Raising logo was on the front of the box. I was thinking, is this supposed to incite folks to buy a box? Or maybe it's that 0 grams trans fat sticker on the box? That's it, right?? Guilt-free doughnuts?? That's the excuse I'm using for eating these delicious, sweet circles of goodness. Hmm, upon closer inspection, the sticker says "per serving". Wonder what constitutes a serving? According to the box, it's ONE doughnut?! I ne

This is one of those great ones that you receive via email. The subject line was "too good not to share". They were absolutely right! So, I am sharing it AGAIN!  Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts   i t over her cigarette, and continues smoking. Arlene: What in the hell is that? Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet. Arlene: Where did you get it? Jane: You can get them at any drugstore. The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers. "Doesn't matter love, as long as it fits on a Camel!!" The pharmacist fainted!!

...are these two sitting together? I'm just saying... ...is this sometimes my go-to energy boost? Sometimes this is the only thing that gets me through class and work.

Okay, it's time for a change! No, I'm not moving...yet. I'm talking about fitness level-wise. For those of you who don't already know - I used to be heavily into bodybuilding. How serious? Well let's put it this way, I didn't compete but I was very very close. Then my gym closed and completely uprooted my workout schedule My plan is to go back to that mindset. One barrier to my plan is not having a gym membership. At one point, I was in the gym 5 days a week - faithfully. I had my workout split down to a science. I was all about it! Especially free weights. Most often, it would be me and a bunch of muscle bound guys in the "pit" with the weights. Admittedly, they looked at me like I was crazy at first. But after they saw me sling a few weights and complete some reps, most of them were convinced. I think the rest of them were won over when I had to wait on them to free up the weights they were using. Or better still, I would bypass their weights and m

Okay, so I got this email a little while ago and just had to share. "One of the female ministers in the church offered the following information to the women's group... While waiting on your Boaz, don't settle for any of these relatives...Brokeaz, Poaz, Lyingaz, Cheatingaz, Dumbaz, Downlowaz, Fakeaz, Cryingaz, Lockedupaz, Goodfornothingaz, Lazyaz, and especially his third distant cousin, Beatyoaz. Please, please, please wait on your Boaz!" He also needs to respect yoaz!!  Amen!

Here's proof that even animals need a  PRAISE break!

Okay so this is a repost. No, I'm not going to flake and NOT make a new post today. But I was reading through my blog and had to post this one more time... No matter where you work, you will come into contact with all different sorts of people and personalities. This is also true of schools and civic organizations. Take a look at this list...recognize anyone from your own personal interactions?   Pleaser – This type is always ready with a smile to do whatever is asked...no matter how big or small or demoralizing the task. They are always bubbly, never a cross word for anyone. Beware of this type - they are usually up to something or have a secret agenda. I mean really - no one is THAT nice all the time. Goody Two Shoes – This type never gets in trouble. I mean never! Not that they don’t do plenty that would qualify as trouble. No, they will do whatever they have to do to ensure their name remains free and clear of all work place detritus. They are not above stretching

The weather is so great these days that people are going to won't to get out and enjoy it. So much so, until some are longing for holidays and the wonderful invention called THE 3-DAY WEEKEND!  These pseudo-holidays don't always come around as often as some would like so they turn to that other wonderful invention - CALLING OUT OF WORK! Some have come up with some really plausible excuses and some are dubious, at best. Here's a list of... Excuses that probably won’t work for being late/missing work  1.      I couldn’t find a parking space – Your job title: Valet parking attendant 2.      I missed my flight – Your job title: Pilot (especially if you own your own private plane)   Credit: Free images from acobox.com 3.      I got lost on my way to work – Your job title: Tour Guide 4.      My wife is sick and I have to stay home to care for her – Your marital status: Confirmed Bachelor 5.      I don’t feel up to par today – Your job title: Professional Golfer   Credit: F

Hello and HAPPY FRIDAY to all! It's a beautiful quasi-summer day and you know what that means, right? No, really. What does it mean? You don't know? Somebody told me you did. Oh well, in that case I guess it's up to me to spread some... Random Ramblings   Why do we put ownership on things that aren’t even ours? And then we get mad when somebody else uses them/takes them??  “UGH! I can’t believe that COW took my parking spot”…and you’re at the Walmart Credit: Free photos from acobox.com Why do we think it's wrong to drink coffee in the summer?   “It’s the middle of the summer. Why the heck are you drinking hot coffee?!” Oh, but it’s okay for you to eat ice cream in the winter, huh? Credit: Free images from acobox.com            Dear Ms. Nail Tech,  So how much is a full set of nails? $45 for gel nails, huh? Ok.  Credit: Free images from acobox.com And may I ask why are you wearing a surgical mask? Oh, it’s for the dust particles from when you

Dear MG, First of all, let me tell you that I have been reading your blog for a while and I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your posts. You have a great sense of humor but there seems to be a message behind the humor. So, I thought maybe you could help me with a dilemma. Well, my DH and I have been married for 15 years. He has just recently told me that he no longer finds me attractive. He says that I should put down the cookies and join a gym. That I need to lose some weight! He stopped just short of coming right out and saying I am FAT!! I don't think I'm THAT big. I mean, I'm 5'8" and I'm a size 12. I have always liked my curves - but maybe I could stand to shed a few pounds. Maybe go to the salon and get a new look? IDK what to do. I love my DH and I don't want him to leave me - but this is become a huge issue (no pun intended). Anyway, thanks for listening. Signed, Curvy Carla Dear CC, Thanks for reading my blog.

Keeping up with the Jones – First of all, who the HECK are the Jones’ and who made them the measuring stick? SN: I’m actually a Jones. You’re welcome to try to keep up with me but you’d better bring your “A” game…oh and a good pair of trainers and roller skates! I’m just saying. But I digress – you may not even know a Jones but I bet there’s someone you know who you think has it better than you. Maybe they have a really big house with a pool (complete with pool boy *wink*)  and a full service cleaning staff. Or maybe this person has 2 brand new SUVs, - completely customized like they just rolled in from Pimp My Get-Around or whatever. We’re talking TV monitors in the head rests, DVD players, surround sound and a mini bar <-------sorry, got a little carried away. Maybe they spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on vacations to the South of France, Topanga or the balmy beaches of Bora Bora. In short, they HAVE IT MADE! So do you congratulate them on their good for

Have to love our mobile phones. Let's face it, we always have our phones with us.  Why is that a good thing? So in case there's an emergency at school we can be contacted immediately? Or if we're driving and our car breaks down - we can call for help?  Sure, but more importantly - THE CAMERA PHONE!!!. Don't believe me? Check these out.... Windows down, keys in the ignition...bait car? Or just someone who really HATES their car? &*!@@!..####! Mrs. B's all dressed up...wonder where she's going? And is there a Mr. B? A mobile PIE CART???!?! GENIUS!!!! BUDDING entrepreneur... Have some ideas for captions? Send them to me...I dare you!

How many of you are concerned about what you eat? You check you your tri-whatchamacallits and your and transmission  fluids  - okay so I’m not a doctor! I don’t even play one on TV – not yet anyway *wink*  But you know what I mean right? We’re always checking to make sure that we are performing at optimum levels.  The health industry makes billions of dollars each year and there’s always someone in the wings waiting to swoop in a make a buck by piggy backing on these desires to be fit and trim. That brings me to my rant of the day – BISON MEAT! So, when I first heard about this “new” meat I was told that it was lean and very good for you. Bison-lovers also touted its wonderful flavor and its ability to blend into some of your favorite dishes. So much so until it was almost unnoticeable – SCREECHHH!!! Do what? It BLENDS? ALMOST unnoticeable? Why do I have to camouflage it in order to eat it? Bison? Bison? It sounded so familiar but it was too new age to be what I was thinking, right?

Children! Aren't they great?? All shapes, sizes, colors and ages (okay so, maybe infants have a bit of an edge on the other age groups). But it doesn't matter because children are precious gifts!You all agree with that, right? Come on, children are precious angels...made of sunshine and roses. Smelling sweetly of baby powder and baby lotion.  They are all that is good and right in the world. Completely guileless, not a deceptive bone in their bodies.  Children are the last repository of gentleness and innocence for humanity, right? Don't get me wrong, I love children - I'm just saying that maybe, just maybe they aren't quite so sweet and innocent. Don't believe me? Your child is perfect, you say? Well, I'm sure she thought the same thing about hers...

PUBLIC BATHROOMS! There - I said it...two words that strike fear and dread in some of the stoutest hearts. This is especially true if you happen to be a woman. Ladies, how many times have you been willing to risk damage to your kidney rather than use the public facilities? I mean, really, men have it sooooo easy. (If you need that explained to you - send me an email, k?") How to survive a visit to a public bathroom... 1. Exercise - Wait, here me out. The next time you're in the gym add a few extra reps of lunges and deep knee bends to your exercise routine. They will help strengthen your quadriceps. This will come in handy...trust me. 2. Levitate - Most facilities are very clean but just in case, a little bit of hovering wouldn't hurt. Unless of course you skipped step #1 and didn't build up your quadriceps. (See, I told you it would come in handy) 3. Buddy System - There's a reason why we ladies go to the bathroom in groups when we are out and about. It i

Every once and awhile, someone will tell me a joke or funny store that I just have to share. This is one of those times... A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when Steven, a tall, exceptionally handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him. This seasoned yet playful heartthrob noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As any man would.) Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00..  on one condition..." Flabbergasted but intrigued, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." Hmm... The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed $20 bill from her p

You ever notice that some people in your office are just too serious? I mean ALL THE TIME. Never smiling or cracking a joke. Let's face it! Corporate America has a tendency to be staid and stodgy. Why can't we all be like Google and other companies that remember what it was like to have fun? Just because we're adults, doesn't mean we can't or shouldn't remember what being a kid was like. After all, that was when we were the most creative. Don't believe me? Think back to when you were about 8 years old and you and your brother were playing ball in the house. Now your mom told you not to and repeatedly warned you about all of her "breakables". But you and your brother were having so much fun and you were sliding into home base (aka the foot of the china hutch)...and then you hear the crash! What creative story did you come up to get out of THAT one? I'm not advocating taking liberties with the truth. All I'm saying is that maybe we lost

Have you ever been in a bad situation and you wish you had a survival guide?   Oh come on, you know you’ve been in a jam a time or two…didn’t know which way to turn or how to get out? So, you’ve never used a road map or GPS? Ah, so you have. Well, how about a situation that isn’t charted on a map or GPS? How to Survive in a Horror Movie Say what? If your 6 year old suddenly stars speaking in Latin, Aramaic or some other language not heard of since before Moses was a baby – now is NOT the time to proclaim yourself the parent of a genius – seek immediate help. I see bugs. If your heretofore pristine home seems to suddenly have more bugs and spiders than a proverbial roach motel – CHECK OUT! Two’s company, three’s a crowd.  You've heard that before, right? How about, there’s safety in numbers? Well, it’s true – at least as safe as you can be in a horror movie situation. In other words, don’t split up. If the big bad – and let’s face it, creepy- comes a ’calling, this i

I saw an article the other day about the latest research study."Studies show that sword swallowing may be dangerous". Umm, DUH?! How about "Recent research shows that drinking drain cleaner may be harmful to your health" Really? You don't say. I wonder how many countless dollars were expended on such lofty intellectual pursuits? I have a topic that I wish THEY would research, "What makes people greedy?" or better said "Why aren't people ever satisfied?" Think about it - how much stuff do you have in your house, right now, this very minute because it was the newest, hottest item on the market...at the time? No, count them...go ahead, I'll wait. *checks watch* Wow, that many, huh?  Do you even remember why you bought some of that stuff? Was anything wrong with the old model or was the flash of glitter on the new one too shiny to resist? Just couldn't resist that new Coach or Prada bag? And then what happens? You look around and

Hello world! For those of you who don't know (and let's face it, some of you don't care) I have gone back to school. No, not because of downsizing but out of deep-seeded need to finish what I started. Long and somewhat painful story short, I find myself in the untenable position of being an older adult  non-traditional student. Which basically means, that I have all the responsibilities of a college student and the added bonuses of being a wife, mom and full-time career woman. (Whew, made me tired just typing that). I've been trying to finish for a little while now. You know, taking a few hours here and there but last semester I got serious. I took 17 hours! A full-time + 5 hour load. INSANITY. But, I made it through with shining colors and all of my hair intact (smile) So, I figured, if I could do it once, surely I could do it again. I registered for 15 hours this semester - naturally thinking the reduction of 2 hours would ease the load (lol). Wrong! This semester