I have been having some decidedly dirty thoughts lately...
Dirty Thought #1:Think about the last time you went to the movies. You couldn't wait to see that new Sci-Fi/Thriller...you know the one with the guy with like a cajilion personalities and the twist at the end? (Excellent by the way...) Yeah but as any movie-goer knows, you have to have movie snacks. Popcorn and candy and drinks (bye bye $30 bucks). Anywho...you pay for your snacks and rush to the theater to get that prime seat (mid way to the top on the far right). The whole time the previews are playing, you and your date (if you're lucky) are playing handsies...digging your hands into that bountiful bucket of buttery popcorn goodness. Shoveling handfuls of the puffery into your mouths...licking your fingers...sliding straws into drink cups...eating and waiting for the feature film to start. But guess what? You forgot something? No you got the candy. You forgot to wash your hands!! GASP!
Which begs the question: why hasn't some industrious, forward thinking, germaphobic, theater manager installed some hand sanitizers in the lobby? Specifically, right near the concession stands? Or how about right as you enter the screening room for each film? I mean not everyone visits the bathrooms before they go in to see the movie. I know they don't visit the bathrooms right after buying snacks.
Dirty Thought #2: Did you ever or do you still go on road trips? Pile everyone in the car (no, you can't go by yourself...stop being so selfish), jump on the highway and go WEST young man (or east or whatever)! Just you, your family, a car full of snacks and drinks...singing along to the radio off-key and loudly...and then it happens - SOMEONE has to go to the bathroom. Public bathrooms - a necessity, surely, but no fun usually. Kind of hard to avoid them on a road trip. Even the best laid plans can be thwarted by a guick-stop-grab-n-go chili cheese dog with extra cheese and jalapenos. So you pull into the gas station/rest-stop (on 2 wheels) in search of a bathroom. You find one and WOW how clean is THIS??! Amazing! You are so happy!! Soap dispensers and paper towels are full, hand sanitizers and what's this...TOILET SEAT-LINERS!! Perfect! Because this has turned into a moment where hovering is just not gonna cut it. In your delight at this unexpected highway oasis, you realize that a hint will ahem LINGER that you were there and what you did.
Which leads me to this: Now wouldn't it be cool if they had some spray installed? Like a button that you would push from inside the stall that would release a scent into the bowl - light - but strong enough to mask your ode to the commode? Like a prepoo (no not for your hair) but like a perfume before you bloom? Flowers before unleashing your power? They make this spray, you know. It's portable, comes in a nice little bottle but not everyone has these - especially not when you need it. I'd mention it by name but I don't have permission. But man, wouldn't it be great if public restrooms had these installed?
So, those are the dirty thoughts that I meant. What were you thinking? Oh you thought...No not THOSE kinds of thoughts (smile).Sheesh, get your minds out of the gutter...although, gutters are decidedly dirty too.
Dirty Thought #1:Think about the last time you went to the movies. You couldn't wait to see that new Sci-Fi/Thriller...you know the one with the guy with like a cajilion personalities and the twist at the end? (Excellent by the way...) Yeah but as any movie-goer knows, you have to have movie snacks. Popcorn and candy and drinks (bye bye $30 bucks). Anywho...you pay for your snacks and rush to the theater to get that prime seat (mid way to the top on the far right). The whole time the previews are playing, you and your date (if you're lucky) are playing handsies...digging your hands into that bountiful bucket of buttery popcorn goodness. Shoveling handfuls of the puffery into your mouths...licking your fingers...sliding straws into drink cups...eating and waiting for the feature film to start. But guess what? You forgot something? No you got the candy. You forgot to wash your hands!! GASP!
Which begs the question: why hasn't some industrious, forward thinking, germaphobic, theater manager installed some hand sanitizers in the lobby? Specifically, right near the concession stands? Or how about right as you enter the screening room for each film? I mean not everyone visits the bathrooms before they go in to see the movie. I know they don't visit the bathrooms right after buying snacks.
Dirty Thought #2: Did you ever or do you still go on road trips? Pile everyone in the car (no, you can't go by yourself...stop being so selfish), jump on the highway and go WEST young man (or east or whatever)! Just you, your family, a car full of snacks and drinks...singing along to the radio off-key and loudly...and then it happens - SOMEONE has to go to the bathroom. Public bathrooms - a necessity, surely, but no fun usually. Kind of hard to avoid them on a road trip. Even the best laid plans can be thwarted by a guick-stop-grab-n-go chili cheese dog with extra cheese and jalapenos. So you pull into the gas station/rest-stop (on 2 wheels) in search of a bathroom. You find one and WOW how clean is THIS??! Amazing! You are so happy!! Soap dispensers and paper towels are full, hand sanitizers and what's this...TOILET SEAT-LINERS!! Perfect! Because this has turned into a moment where hovering is just not gonna cut it. In your delight at this unexpected highway oasis, you realize that a hint will ahem LINGER that you were there and what you did.
Which leads me to this: Now wouldn't it be cool if they had some spray installed? Like a button that you would push from inside the stall that would release a scent into the bowl - light - but strong enough to mask your ode to the commode? Like a prepoo (no not for your hair) but like a perfume before you bloom? Flowers before unleashing your power? They make this spray, you know. It's portable, comes in a nice little bottle but not everyone has these - especially not when you need it. I'd mention it by name but I don't have permission. But man, wouldn't it be great if public restrooms had these installed?
So, those are the dirty thoughts that I meant. What were you thinking? Oh you thought...No not THOSE kinds of thoughts (smile).Sheesh, get your minds out of the gutter...although, gutters are decidedly dirty too.
Comments
Post a Comment