Mackgurl's Musings

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, " Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.'" Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, brow lift, lip enhancement, boob job, lipo-suction, and a tummy tuck. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital but while crossing the street on her way home, she was hit and killed by a car. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, '"I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me out of the path of the car?" God replied,   "GIRRRL...I didn't even recognize you!" 

It's going to happen to all of us at some point if we live long enough. No, I'm not talking about winning the lottery. I'm talking about aging - you know, getting old! It's unavoidable, no matter what the infomercials and plastic surgeons would have you to believe. As a matter of fact it's happening to all of us RIGHT NOW. Don't panic, you may not be at the OLD and DECREPIT stage just yet. But here are few signs that you are heading in that direction: TEN SIGNS YOU ARE GETTING OLD When the bagger at the supermarket asks "Would you like help out with your groceries" you get offended and flatly refuse. Really, what he's trying to say is "You look old and frail and carrying those 2 bags of groceries just might do you in." You and your family are watching television and the "I've fallen and I can't get up" commercial comes on. While the kids are laughing, you secretly write down the number so YOU can order one! When t

Stressful doesn't have to describe the airport security screening process. Here are a few tips to hopefully help you prepare for your next flight - be it business or pleasure: www.do2learn.com/.../ imagegridswords/summer.htm Wear shoes that can be easily slipped off at check-in . You are going to have to remove your shoes at screening. It would take much less time and save you a lot of hassle if you are wearing flip-flops or sandals versus a pair of lace up high tops. Try to avoid wearing metal as much as possible. You are going to have to pass through a metal detector at airport screening. With the current state of the world, these metal detectors are probably a bit more sensitive than in years past. So before you leave the house/hotel, you may want to reconsider that under-wire bra that makes you look so, ahem - uplifted. And you might want to remove that body piercing that you have in your navel, eyebrow, lip, tongue and any other unmentionable places...that is unless you

When life throws up road blocks along your route, don't get discouraged. Just turn to the GPS (God's Powerful Spirit) to find a new route.

 So, this morning I was sitting out on the terrace overlooking the ocean sipping my jasmine green tea whena few news stories caught my attention. Maybe that's putting to dull a point on it. These stories made me say, aloud mind you, ARE YOU SERIOUS??? Here's a headline from msnbc.com  that nearly made me spit out my perfectly brewed jasmine green tea  "NYT: Clan could hold key to drug to stop Alzheimer's" ARE YOU SERIOUS??? My first thoughts - The clan knows how to stop Alzheimer's but they aren't sharing?What? Is the government going to step in and demand that they turn over what they know about halting one of, if not the most, frightening diseases on record? How did they get this drug? How long have they had it? Does it work?? At this point, I am almost afraid of what I will read but I'm too curious not to click the link for the story. So, I click the link and discover that it is in fact about a clan - just not "the" clan. The sto