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Why didn't someone bail me out???

I was held prisoner by a t.v. show aptly named Prisoner and no one posted bail or formed an extraction team or even consulted hostage negotiators. Just left me to flounder on my own under the sway of a  cinematic let down. It ran for 3 nights - 2 hours each on AMC. Starring Jim Caviezel and Gandalf from Lord of the Rings (ok so his real name escapes me right now) - the previews promised a mix of sci-fi and action drama. And oh oh they then much to my delight, ran the show as a 3 part series! Sublime, right? WRONG. Warning - spoiler and personal opinion alert!

From what I could find out, Prisoner was originally a British t.v. show that aired in the late 60's. It was about a spy, mind games, people without names only numbers, cold war themes and the struggle of the central spy, #6, to find his way out and why he was there in the Village - sounds weird and cool and soooo me. Granted, I'm not nearly old enough to have viewed this episodic trip in its original airing but I was completely keyed up about watching the remake. How could I not be? AMC did a bang up job advertising this show with teasers and 3 minute clips that showed this guy running from a large spherical ball, folks with no names only numbers and running around in what seems to be an idyllic Village. So I tuned in - for 3 days!

First 2 days were great, weird but great. #6 (course we don't know he's 6 yet) wakes up in the desert with no memory of how he arrived and is soon confronted by an old man running from some folks with guns. He tells them he's #93. He rambles something about tell 554 that he escaped. And then he dies. At this point I'm completely fascinated, utterly confused and practically salivating at unraveling the mystery. Genius!

Fast forward - We find out that #6 has a real name - Michael and that he's from New York and worked for a company named Summacor (don't quote me on that spelling). Shortly before he woke up in the desert, he quit his job. We find out that the desert is all around this lovely little enclave called the Village. It's run by this enigmatic and utterly mysterious guy named #2 (Gandalf) - who everyone is afraid of. There's only old cars, buses, No BURGERS, NO FRIES, only wraps and coffee. No brand names - everything is labeled "Village" this or that (They had Village beer and wine but no cigarettes)  No roads in or out of town (#6 buys a map and it looks like something a kid drew with crayons and only shows the cabin-like homes in the village and the few shoppes), the main tv show is a soap opera.  There are loud speakers throughout the Village (think back to summer camp) making Village announcements. Everyone knows everyone else and all of their business. There are spy cams and watchers and creepy kids who spy on each other and everyone else.Everyone wears pastel colors - khakis and converse-like tennis shoes. Later there are holes - not holes in the story but actual holes in the ground. #2 explains that they are nothings (with an "s") - merely weather anomalies. To correct the problem, the voice on the camp loudspeakers advises everyone to get a pig!@ And if they act now, they can get 2 for 1. This is #2's idea. For some reason, #6 is the only one not buying into the Kool-aid that #2 is serving. He knows he has another life and wants to get back to NY and his real life. #2 ain't havin' it! He goes so far as to make him fall in love with this woman by injecting them both with each others genetic material. I know, I know -  I should've stopped watching then.

Geesh- this a really long post. Suffice it to say...all of this - the entire Village- is the literal brainchild of #2's wife a bio tech geek who was interested in studying the layers of the subconscious. She wanted to go into the layer of her mind and create a place where the world is great, where she's not childless, where there's no crime (except those perpetrated by #2), no dark colors apparently, no food other than her favorite wraps and ultimately others are "invited" to join her so that they can fix themselves. But this all in their heads! None of it actually happened.@! In the "other place" (also known as their waking lives), some of them are drug abusers, schizophrenics, murders, or just plain poor excuses for humans. #1 and #2 planned to keep these people here to allow them to fix themselves. Somewhere along the line, perhaps when #1's dream-child murdered her and hanged himself, they decided not to stay in the Village anymore. So, #2 convinces everyone that #6 is the "savior" they have all been waiting for. And once he's assured that #6 will stay, #2 grabs a hand grenade from his pocket and just before placing it in his mouth says to #6 - "time to wake up..." then he pulls the pin and blows himself up. Course, this is only a "Village death". He's instantly awake and in his high rise NY apartment with his wife. So Michael aka #6 is now the new #2 and he's got a new dreamer - #313 who took some pills in order to maintain her dream state so that the Village can survive. THE END. I kid you not!!!@@@

Yes, I know I painted this 6 hour trip with some broad strokes, but that's pretty much what happened. Instead of a sci-fi action show, it was more like George Orwell's 1984 meets Gilligan's Island meets LOST - all great on their own, but proved to be a really horrid mix. Sure there were some red herrings thrown in - just to keep us guessing, and a few mind bending flash backs to #6's NY life. All in all, I would've preferred a time machine to an escape into some woman -  who only eats wraps  - drug induced dream! (#2 fed her hallucinogens and sedatives to keep her in a perpetual dream state to create the Village). At least with a time machine, I could've jumped ahead to the end and known not to spend three days watching the Prisoner.

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